By Jane McNamara, Elder Law Attorney

The 65-and-over population is the fastest growing population in the United States.  Advances in the medical field have produced a new population of frail, elderly individuals.  Our every day vocabulary now includes phrases and words that reflect our aging population, such as “sandwich generation”, “caregiver”, and “senior moment”.  Now more than ever, adult children of all ages are called upon to care for their elderly parents, and the challenges can be overwhelming.

Although most adult children care deeply about the needs and well-being of their elderly parents, many are reluctant to discuss important issues such as long-term health care, end of life wishes, and incapacity/dementia.  These issues and advance planning opportunities are often ignored, simply because no one wants to think about such unpleasant possibilities.  As a result, the adult child often is unable to adequately provide for the elderly parent without expensive, intrusive, and time-consuming court intervention. 

Talking with one’s aging parents about assets, incapacity, end of life issues, and long-term health care needs is essential.  It must be addressed before the elderly parent becomes too ill, or is stricken with incapacity.  Too many adult children feel that it “is not their business”, or that “Mom or Dad are not comfortable talking about such things.”  However, the seniors and adult children must remember that if proper planning is neglected, the ultimate burden falls squarely on the adult child.  This often leads to family turmoil, emotional fatigue, and very often, court involvement. 

Important planning tools include a Durable Power of Attorney (“DPOA”) for asset management, and an Advance Healthcare Directive.  A DPOA should be carefully drafted for the specific needs of the senior, including future incapacity, long term care needs, possible future public benefit planning, and numerous other areas unique to seniors.  An Advance Healthcare Directive should be executed, which provides the named agent with specific instructions regarding future healthcare decisions.  Such basic planning, before a health crisis, will allow the designated agent to properly care and provide for the Senior’s needs.  We must all change our thinking from “it will never happen to us,” to “if it happens to us, we are prepared.”